Running with It

I met brilliant children's author/illustrator Susan Jeffers at a writing conference years ago. We sat at the same table for lunch.

I gushed about Hiawatha -- her "version" of Longfellow's poem.

She talked about commitment to craft. Jeffers described taking regular art lessons and how her teacher could make one small brush stroke or suggestion that would act as a point of departure.

Last week, the Northfield ES third graders worked on pattern poems with me. You can find the lesson here.

Take a look at  Matthew D.'s paper.

On the left is Matthew's first draft. It has all of the "required" elements of our workshop -- a theme (African animals), a pattern that grows in size, and the mysterious last line. But, like many first drafts, the poem falls a bit flat.

When I stopped by Matthew's desk to see how he was doing, I made a very small suggestion. "Give each animal an action." It was a tiny brushstroke, but Matthew took my suggestion and ran with it, re-envisioning his poem.

Here is the second draft (it's on the right of the hand-written paper). The animals are livelier and the ending has a new, funny twist.

Africa Small to Big

by  Matthew D.

Teacher: Ms. Hoge

In Africa

There was a baby cheetah playing.

Next was the mommy cheetah watching

The baby cheetah.

Next was a lion running

To get some lunch.

Then a rhino came running

With his horn facing up,

And then a giraffe came walking in

And ran away from the fight.

I'm so impressed with the work young writers can do in the space of a one hour workshop. 

Thanks again to the poet, his family and all the folks at Northfield for sharing these poems. Keep writing!

The Mysterious Last Line

One of the most difficult things to teach young poets is the art of the turn.

It's a transitional point in the poem -- where the mood or the point the poet is making shifts, or a surprise takes the poem in an unexpected direction.

For many years, I've been using Stephanie Izarek's short poem, "Under the Sky Is" as an opening exercise for elementary school residencies. You can find the poem, with Izarek's article full of poetry-teaching tips, at Scholastic.

What makes this poem is the last line, "Under the rock there are things we can never see."

My classes and I spend a lot of time discussing this line. Most people will ignore the word "never" and pop an image under that rock. It's a neat trick of language and the mind. We see plankton, sand crabs or buried treasure.

With Izarek's poem as a guide, kids *get* this idea: leave the reader with someone to imagine, a little mystery or a surprise to take away from the poem.

Here are a few third grade poets from Northfield Elementary, where I am poetically residing this month. They did a great job picking up the pattern of repeats that Izarek uses in "Under the Sky Is."

I did  not see the last line in Meg's poem coming. The surprise ending made me laugh!

Who Is the Best

by Meg G.

Teacher: Ms. Taliano

There was once a bug.

Next to the bug was a frog.

Next to the frog was a dog.

Next to the dog was a person,

But who was the best

On the dance floor?

One of the things I like about this exercise is that it's open to a variety of interpretations. Check out Isaac's science-minded  poem.

In Space

by Isaac U.

Teacher: Ms. Hoge

Out in space there is a supernova.

Coming from the supernova is a meteor.

On the meteor is ice.

In the ice is a box.

In the box is the most mysterious leaf

You’ll ever see.

Food is a popular subject for student poems. See if you can guess where Brian is before the end of the poem.

Untitled

by Brian L.

Teacher: Ms. Taliano

It started with bread.

Next to the bread was a mountain of salad.

Next came an endless pool

Of macaroni and cheese.

Next came a trampoline-sized

Peperoni pizza.

But I just ate a ton of spaghetti

From this awesome buffet.

Wow. Brian is the master of descriptive adjectives.

More third grade poems and lessons to come. Thanks to the teachers, staff and families at Northfield ES for giving permission to share these poems.