Portrait Poems Part 2

Happy Poetry Friday, Friends!

Some quick news, before today's poetry lesson. This week, I found out that my ekphrastic poem, "Fringe," was a finalist for the 2012 Rita Dove Poetry Awards. I am thrilled!

Those of you who remember me writing about the mud run I'm doing with my teenage son, it's this weekend. Fingers crossed that I survive.

Last, if you are in the Westminster, MD area, I am reading at the Carroll County Arts Council Thursday 5/24 at 7 PM. Poet Bruce Sager will be my partner in rhyme.

Yesterday, I introduced portrait poems to the Northfield third grade. We looked at a student poem in response to The Scream. (Yesterday's post, part one of the lesson, is here.)

Today, we are going to take a poem walk through the model poem, Shonto Begay's "Down Highway 163." About a year ago, I exchanged emails with Mr. Begay regarding this lesson. If you'd like to read our conversation, that post is here. I am grateful for his permission to share his work.

First, I share a little of Mr. Begay's background, which kids (and I) find both heart-breaking and fascinating. Then, we look at his painting, "Down Highway 163."

We list the facts of the painting, all of the things we can see. Kids get the idea quickly. We can say the person is cold because she is wrapped in a blanket and there is snow. We can't assume the person is homeless. That's not a fact we can see.

FYI -- if you live on the East Coast, as I do, your students might mistake that butte in the background for a building or an orange cloud. I usually take a minute to tell them what a butte is, often showing them a photograph of the real Highway 163 in Utah.

After we have all our facts, we can start the fun part of this exercise...imagining. I've had classes come up with many crazy and wonderful stories about this painting. In a recent one, the woman's sack was filled with cash she'd been saving for a long time. She was hitching a ride on the truck so she could get to the used car lot and buy her own car!

Now, it's time to see what the artist imagined about this character.

DOWN HIGHWAY 163
by Shonto Begay

The old lady in the back of the truck
Has seen days much colder
Someone's grandmother
On the highway towards Kayenta
Only her face shows from a faded blanket (5)
Her features are strong
Maybe she is related to the people in the front
Laughing and warm
Or maybe she is catching a ride to the trading post
She may even be returning (10)
From the health clinic in Monument Valley
The back of the truck is cold
Among old spare tires and chains
Shovels and bare metal box
She is no stranger to Old Man Winter (15)
She has seen many winters
It has been colder

Posted with permission of the author.

As I mentioned with last week's poem walk, I let the students guide the discussion. I have my "hoped for" points in mind. Most of the time, when I ask kids to share their favorite parts of the poem, the children will pull these lines out themselves.

Line 1: If students are stuck with their own poems, they can use this opening line strategy -- tell who, tell where.

Line 2: We'll come back to the connotations of the word "cold" by the end of the discussion and see how it threads through the poem. Many elementary schoolers have heard the idiom, "giving the cold shoulder" or understand (thanks to reality TV) "that was cold" is an appropriate response to an insult. The point is, "cold" can be used to describe disrespectful treatment -- not just the temperature. This is not an easy idea for all third graders, some of whom are concrete thinkers, so I'll need to spend time on this concept -- with their teacher's help.

Line 3: At some point in the discussion, I will ask, "Would you treat your grandmother this way?"

Line 6: How do we know this person is strong (see final two lines)? The students find this line as evidence. We talk about the idea that when a poet calls someone's facial features -- outer expression -- strong, that poet is suggesting the person is also strong on the inside.

Line 7-8: See my question about Line 3. We start to realize that it's pretty shocking that this elderly woman has been stuck in the back of a truck -- in the middle of winter -- by the drivers. Her family? We might talk about the idea that in Begay's Navajo culture, elders are treated with great respect.

Line 11: Some children will pick up on the idea that the woman might be sick. That makes us more bothered that she is in the back of the truck and not being cared for.

Line 13-14: Since we discussed the junk in the back of the truck (tire, shovel, box) when we looked at the painting, the students understand the metaphor here. If our woman is back there with the trash, how is she being treated? Like trash.

Line 15: Some children have not heard of "Old Man Winter." Explain that it's an expression similar to Mother Nature or Jack Frost.

Lines 16-17: We come back to the thread of "cold" layers in the poem now, both the weather and the treatment of this woman. The children will point out, when I ask them what they like about these two lines, that the woman is a survivor. They "get" that she has been through worse winters/experiences and will live through this.

After we read the poem one more time, I shower the kids with praise. It takes a lot of deep thinking to discuss a poem like "Down Highway 163" and they've done a great job.

At Northfield, we ask the kids to bring newspaper and magazine clippings for their portraits. The teachers and I usually bring in extras. While a simple portrait will work, I like to look for images that have story potential -- details, style of dress, or a setting that makes me say, "What's happening here?"

If the kids get stuck while they're writing, I suggest that they use Shonto Begay's strategy. Begin a new thread of imagining with the word "maybe."

In Mary's poem, there is a subtle suggestion of conflict between the girl going to a dance and the parents taking her photo.

A Pretty Teenager Going to a Dance

by Mary

My long blue dress with

brown curly hair and sparkly earrings

with the trees in the background

Me posing for a picture

But I want to go to a dance

to laugh and smile

dance with my friends

It's my first time so let me

have fun and laugh

talk with my friends

It will be the best time I ever

had with all my friends and me

Zoe's poem captures a friendship between two very different girls. (There was only one girl in the picture Zoe wrote in response to.)

My Crazy Friend Daisy

by Zoe

I see my friend

and what do I think

Well, I think she's crazy

in that pose

With her glasses on

doing her funny dance

I'm just sitting there watching

What a sight!

What a crazy friend.

But she still is fun

that funny friend of mine

in that pose

Oh, what a great friend!

Amber wrote about a fashion photograph.

Fancy Model Or...

by Amber

Walking on glass.

Wow, so hard.

How can she do it?

Oh, I don't know!

Or maybe a model

looking so cute.

Fancy necklace or bracelet or dress.

Fancy model walking on glass.

Feeling proud like "Wow, I'm doing it."

Walking up and down

above the clouds

like the queen of the word

or space.

Glasses in her hand, hand on her hip

seeing herself

lovely and sweet

like a professional model.

Oh, she is.

What is she thinking?

Looking up, not down,

focusing on her.

Her her her her her

just her.

Getting dizzy spinning around

turning, spinning, walking, turning.

Lilly's magazine clipping was simple: A young girl with a seashell by her ear.

The Waves

by Lilly

Ffffff

Fffff

Listen

Fffff

The waves are talking

I can hear them well

Ffffff

Through the shell the waves

are coming

I almost think they're coming

at me

Fffff

The waves are talking.

I'll have a few more wonderful portrait poems on Monday, and then we'll move on to food poems. Yum!

Today's Poetry Friday host is Katya at Write. Sketch. Repeat. Thank, Katya!

Portrait Poems Part 1

One of my students' favorite workshops -- not matter what grade they are in -- is on portrait poems.

The backbone of the lesson is simple. We use an image of a person to gather concrete facts, a list of things we know or can see. Then, we take the same image and let our imaginations go crazy as we make up a story about the person.

Try using images of people students don't know, magazine clippings
or portraits like this one of Ann Boleyn from englishhistory.net.

I like this exercise for several reasons. First, it teaches point of view on more than one level. As writers, many of the students will opt to write in the voice of the character. That makes the portrait poem something like acting. On the human level, writing a portrait poem teaches compassion. For some children, it's a stretch to imagine what the person in that photo might be thinking about or feeling. Writing a poem is a safe way to wonder about someone else's point of view.

The second lesson lesson that portrait poems teach is more subtle. Because we are taking what we can see (the facts) and then imagining what is unseen (what happens next, or the person's feelings), the portrait poem mirrors the process of writing poetry. Poets take concrete experiences and present them in a way that creates emotional impact or some kind of revelation. That's exactly what we do in a portrait poem.

I'm worth how much?!

I was working on portraits with the Northfield third graders earlier this month, when the Edvard Munch painting The Scream was in the news. A version of the painting (there are four) recently sold at auction for just under $120 million.

One of my students wrote a portrait painting on The Scream a few years ago.

Scream (Response to “The Scream”)

by James, Grade 4

The frightened man on

the bridge in black

he screams as the bridge

opens while he’s on it

in the front of the

bay, the boat goes

by and two people walk

toward him, helping him

off the bridge and running

as he yells to his

family as they scream

in horror as their son

almost died as the

bridge went up and down.

The Northfield third graders and I looked at The Scream and read the poem. We talked about which elements of the poem were facts (the frightened man, the bridge, the water, the boat, two people) and which were the poet's imagination (the drawbridge, the idea that the two people are helping, the family, the idea that he almost died).

This student model sets us up well for discussing another painting/poem pair, Shonto Begay's "Down Highway 163." You can find them in Begay's wonderful book, Navajo. 

We'll look at that tomorrow. For now, here are some third grade portrait poems.

Thanks to Northfield's family and staff (and poets!) for allowing me to share these poems. You'll notice that some of the students have opted for one stanza on "what I see" and a separate stanza for "what I imagine," as in this first poem.

I See a Family

I see a family

playing on the sand

two small boys

walking through the water

the water is rushing up

and covering their feet.

Maybe the mom is worried

and scared.

The current might pull

her sons into the dark

cold sea.

Richard's poem is literally immersed in what the speaker of the poem is doing.

Splash

by Richard G.

Splash

arms flailing

legs kicking

having fun in the water

being almost weightless

and perfectly round

bubbles floating

to the surface

I don't realize how

much time passes by

and suddenly

I hear my dad

and mom say

It's time to go!

I love how Noah imagines the complex emotions of an astronaut -- talk about a different point of view than your own!

Untitled

by Noah H.

The man is very happy.

He finished his job

middle aged man

is forty years old,

is an astronaut.

Loved space.

A little dizzy.

Wants to go again.

Happy to see his

family. Happy to

go home.

It will be clear to you which famous landmark was in the photograph Alex wrote about.

Waving "Hello!"

by Alex N.

Foreigner kids

waving hello

to a statue of freedom.

Entering America.

Maybe they're happy.

They could be frightened.

England or France,

where are they from?

Children are waving because

they're entering

a new life and a new world.

They've traveled through storms

and the coldest of nights.

They're finally there.

Whew!

What a delight.

Look for the second half of the portrait poem lesson, including a "poem walk" through "Down Highway 163" tomorrow.