I had to take a photo of these folders.
They belong to two third grade boys at Norwood Elementary, where I just finished a long poetry residency. (They thought I was a little strange, taking a picture of their folders.)
So much excitement about poetry! It’s infectious.
I caught the bug. Here’s my original poem:
Poetry Rocks
Norwood Elementary, Fall 2008
Poetry rocks. 
It is a blast!
Short bumpy lines
make my heart beat fast
like a basketball
thump, thump, thumping.
Words pivot, pass,
I hear them jumping.
Poetry rocks 
me back to calm,
Tells a story,
sings me a sad song.
When long lines linger
like a lullaby,
poetry floats.
It’s a butterfly.
Laura Shovan
It is a blast!
Short bumpy lines
make my heart beat fast
like a basketball
thump, thump, thumping.
Words pivot, pass,
I hear them jumping.
Poetry rocks 
me back to calm,
Tells a story,
sings me a sad song.
When long lines linger
like a lullaby,
poetry floats.
It’s a butterfly.
Laura Shovan 
I couldn’t decide whether to stick with the butterfly (which does float on air) or to put a dragonfly in the last line. More of a hoverer, but also more suggestive. What do you think?Writing Exercise: Poetry Rocks!
Recommended Ages: All
Does poetry rock you like a hurricane or rock you to sleep? Tell us in a poem what power poetry has over you. Bonus for similes!
It's Poetry Friday. Rock out with more poetry at Wild Rose Reader, our host for the week.
I'm hosting next week -- see you then!
14 comments:
Those poems are great! They're lucky to have you doing a residency there!
Thanks, Stacey. I have a great time working with elementary schoolers.
So, what do you think? Butterfly or dragonfly?
How clever! I love the surprise of "Poetry rocks -- me back to calm."
Yes, children's poetry in their own writing is the best.
Great poem, Laura. I like the surprise of poetry rocks me back to calm, after the thumping and pivoting of the first stanza. I think you made a good choice with butterfly.
Love the way you turned the meaning of "rocks" around to change the mood.
I like "dragonfly" as it is more unexpected, and somehow more mystical. It seems to stretch the poem into yet another realm/mood.
Thanks for the comments. I know my doodling student intended "poetry rocks" to feel exciting. But I'm a mom -- couldn't help my own association with rocking to soothe.
I also do try to teach elementary schoolers how line length can create a fast or slow feeling in their poems.
I agree- Poetry Rocks! When I was a grade school teacher, my favorite thing to teach was the poetry unit!
Wow! What wonderful poems! Writing poetry with children is an amazing experience and you sound like you are wonderfully talented at sharing your skill and enthusiasm! They are lucky to have had you as a teacher!
Thanks, Kelly & Brainna,
Writing poetry with elementary schoolers really is a blast. They get swept away in the sounds, rhythms and ideas. I'm always amazed at the poems young children create.
I love the way this goes from fast to slow! And I like butterfly in the last line! I can't wait to share this with my students on Monday! We're right in the middle of a poetry writing unit, and I think they will love this!
Carol
Carol -- I'm so glad you'll be able to use the poem with your class. What grade do you teach?
Your poem is wonderful, Laura - the surprise of moving between meanings is just right.
I vote for butterfly - a dragonfly feels too energetic for the lovely floating quality you're looking for.
I, too, vote for the butterfly. I don't think dragonflies float -- they hover, dart, hunt, zap, and flick.
Thanks for the input, everyone. I'll stick with my instinct (and your advice) and keep the butterfly.
Laura
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