Poetry Friday: Down Days

Writerly Friends, it has been quiet over here at Author Amok because life has NOT been quiet at the Shovan household.

Santa Claus is on vacation, but
Poetry Friday never rests!
Thanks to Donna at Mainely
 Write for hosting this week.

When last we posted, the gifts were wrapped, the in-laws were about to arrive, and we were preparing for a festival of eats that could have fed a bus-load of Shovans.

Our holiday table is a mash-up of traditions. Two of our five Christmas Eve fishes (rockfish and crab) were in the Maryland crab soup -- in honor of our adopted state

Our main course was Pasta Aglio e Olio with walnuts and anchovies my  husband's Italian family only eats on Christmas Eve. If you make it right, the anchovies are not at all "hairy."

And for dessert on Christmas Day, I made my mother's English trifle. That's a story and a poem for another time.

A poem about my grandmother's Christmas trifle
made its merry way to Tricia at The Miss Rumphius Effect
for the Poetry Friday holiday exchange.

A few days later: more family in Florida, meeting a brand new nephew for the first time, a snow storm, high school applications for my daughter, my son building his own computer, me participating in Pitch Wars (!) and getting an issue of Little Patuxent Review ready for press, and a house filled with life and cookies.

Then, this Monday, everything magically returned to "normal." 

Whew! Hello, Routine! I missed you.

It's taking me a few days to get my self together (substitute jammies for Calvin's birthday suit, and you'll get the picture). I'd gotten used to eight hours of sleep and watching Doctor Who with my middle schooler.

It's around this time of year -- we're returning from the holidays, it's gray outside, and there's a full half of the school year to go -- that people get a little down. Not just us grown up writers, but our students and young friends, too.

Down Days

My mom’s at work, my dad’s online.

No one comes to wake me.

Even the dog forgets he should

jump on the bed and shake me.

My socks don’t match. My hair poufs up.

My homework isn’t packed.

My lunch has only healthy stuff.

We’re out of treats and snacks.

Dad gets annoyed when I point out

I’m going to miss the bus.

He says he’ll drive if I’ll just stop

making such a fuss.

Some days are like a fast, cold stream

and I’m a little fish

lonely in this great big school

afraid to make a splash.

Okay, okay. I admit that my first version of this poem had a different last stanza:

lonely in this great big school

afraid to make a splish (splash!).

I thought it was adorable, but no one else did. And my middle school daughter, she just found it confusing. It's one of those lines that's going to bother me forever.

For all of us feeling a little low, let's break out our light boxes, take the dogs for a walk, and get some sunshine.

You've got to love a routine that includes returning to Poetry Friday.

Poetry Friday: Settling Down for Winter

Writerly Friends, a series of upcoming deadlines has conspired with the winter holidays to stress me out this year. 

There will be lots of Christmas and Solstice goodies at
Buffy's Blog. Buffy is this week's Poetry Friday hostess.

• Copy edits for Little Patuxent Review's Science issue are due.
• My daughter's high school applications are going in the mail.
• The holidays! Ack!
• And, the thing I want to work on, a manuscript deadline on 1/10.

I'm tired of sitting at my desk all day, followed by bursts of rushing out to crowded post offices and shops. It's time to settle by a fireplace (we don't have one) with some knitting or a good book.

Or maybe I should take a walk, as Thomas Hardy does in the poem, "The Darkling Thrush." His somber mood reminds me: things aren't so bad. The deadlines will be met. Our family is coming to visit and enjoy a traditional Italian Christmas Eve meal. Okay -- the Maryland crab soup isn't so traditional, but it's *our* tradition and it counts as one of the seven fishes.

Wishing you a beautiful transition through the Winter Solstice, as light returns to all of us, no matter which winter traditions you celebrate.

The Darkling Thrush

BY THOMAS HARDY

I leant upon a coppice gate

      When Frost was spectre-grey,

And Winter's dregs made desolate

      The weakening eye of day.

The tangled bine-stems scored the sky

      Like strings of broken lyres,

And all mankind that haunted nigh

      Had sought their household fires.

The land's sharp features seemed to be

      The Century's corpse outleant,

His crypt the cloudy canopy,

      The wind his death-lament.

The ancient pulse of germ and birth

      Was shrunken hard and dry,

And every spirit upon earth

      Seemed fervourless as I.

At once a voice arose among

      The bleak twigs overhead

In a full-hearted evensong

      Of joy illimited;

An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small,

      In blast-beruffled plume,

Had chosen thus to fling his soul

      Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings

      Of such ecstatic sound

Was written on terrestrial things

      Afar or nigh around,

That I could think there trembled through

      His happy good-night air

Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew

      And I was unaware.

Freelance Flashback: Don't pack up those ornaments yet

In my years as a local freelancer for the Baltimore Sun, I learned (and often, quickly forgot) many facts and pieces of trivia.

One tidbit that stayed with me: It's okay to leave your Christmas and holiday decorations up until the Feast of the Epiphany. That's tomorrow, folks.

Mr. S is visiting his parents, so the teens will be helping me pack up the Santa candles, dreidel candy dish, and preschool crafts of holidays past.

Here is  my 2003 Sun article that explains why January 6 is the day to pack it all away.

Still proceeding to honor the Magi on the 12th day

Paying homage to the 3 kings

Epiphany: Several Howard County churches prepare to observe the Feast of the Three Kings.

Howard County

January 03, 2003|By Laura Shovan | Laura Shovan,SPECIAL TO THE SUN

Don't put away those manger scenes yet. The 12 days of Christmas, which began Dec. 25, don't officially conclude until the Feast of the Three Kings on Jan. 6, the traditional date for the wise men, or Magi, to arrive.

Some time, I'll have to tell you about
my one and only camel ride.

Several Howard County Christian churches have traditional, and nontraditional, Epiphany customs.

At the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Ellicott City, the wise men arrived a little early. The weekend before Christmas, the church held a pageant. Members of the parish took turns playing the roles of prophets, shepherds and the three wise men.

James Gartside of Jessup, who was among the Magi, said the wise men were familiar figures in Old Testament and other prophecies about a coming Messiah and connected those with astrological events. "They knew the signs," he said. "They recognized that Jesus is our Lord and Savior."

In the United States, Christmas celebrations overshadow the Epiphany - it is a more significant festival in Greek and Russian Orthodox churches and in Latin America. However, the two holy days are related. While Christmas marks the birth of Jesus, the Epiphany signifies what his birth means - Jesus' role as Savior.

"That's what Epiphany means, an event of great importance," said George Martin, president of the Columbia Cooperative Ministry. "That day was effectively like Christmas because it was the manifestation of Jesus to the world."

Translations of the Greek word epiphaneia range from "to reveal" and "manifestation" to "appearance." In English, the term has come to signify a discovery or realization.

The Epiphany can be found in the Gospels of Luke and Matthew. The realization in the Gospels is that the Magi, who were foreigners and non-Jews, recognize Jesus as Lord and king. They represent the idea that his message will reach the whole world.

The Adoration of the Magi, weaving, 1894

Although the number of Magi does not appear in the Scriptures, they usually are depicted as a group of three because of the gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh that they carried. The traditional names of the Magi, who later came to be seen as kings, are Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar. Details like these, and that the three gifts might have been bartered to help the Holy Family escape danger, were added to the Epiphany story as it was passed from generation to generation and depicted in works of art.

The three gifts were common items to take on a journey because they were tradeable goods. But they also have symbolic meanings. Gold, a gift given to royalty, signifies Jesus as king. Frankincense, which was used in worship practices, stands for his divinity. Because myrrh was used to prepare bodies for burial, it represents Jesus as a man who would die.

Frankincense has many health benefits. You can find it
in this form in natural food stores.
From Wikipedia.

Gift-giving during the Christmas season is meant to honor and emulate the wise men. But there are a variety of other traditions surrounding Monday's Feast of the Epiphany.

One custom, according to the Rev. Richard Tillman of St. John's Roman Catholic Church in Columbia, is "a tradition of going around and blessing homes. ... The ritual is with a small piece of chalk that you inscribe on the home, `20+CMB+03' - the number of the New Year and the initials `CMB' are in the middle." (Read about this custom here.)

Not only do the initials stand for the names of the Magi, Tillman said, they also signify a Latin prayer, "Christus Mansionem Benedicat," which means "May Christ Bless This Dwelling."

The Orthodox Christian Church of St. Mathews in Wilde Lake also has a tradition of blessing homes. Children carry candles and sing hymns while each room is sprinkled with holy water blessed during the Epiphany.

A less traditional custom will be the "Taste of St. John's" potluck dinner, which will be held Sunday at St. John's Roman Catholic Church in Columbia. Parishioners from at least 50 ethnic backgrounds will share dishes from their cultures.

"The three kings represented people from far away - the idea is to emphasize that here at St. John's we have people from all over the country and all over the world," said Kathie Armstrong, parish secretary.

Because the Feast of the Epiphany marks the end of the Christmas season, Jan. 6 is the traditional date to put away Christmas decorations.

I'm always a little sad when it's time to pack up
the Christmas Lobster.

We do have some traditional ornaments.
This Santa made of poi, for instance.

So next week is the time to take down the lights and ornaments, and pack those wise men and the family creche until they visit next year.

Freelance Flashback: Chrismukkah

A menorah in the window and a Christmas tree in the family room -- that's how I grew up. Though my mother converted to Judaism after my parents married, she kept some of her Anglican traditions. Giving up her English trifle, crackers on the holiday table, and Christmas tree were unthinkable.

We get our traditional party favors, English crackers from oldenglishcrackers.com.

We celebrated the best of both holidays, what some folks now jokingly call Chrismukkah.

The fourth night of Hanukkah begins at sundown.

Now my own family is interfaith. This week finds us finishing our Christmas shopping as we celebrate Hanukkah. Last night was latke night!

Zucchini latkes from smittenkitchen.com.

Back in 2001, I was thinking about our blended holiday traditions. I knew there were other families out there like us. The Costellos, for instance, had a child at my kids' preschool class at the time. (Our sons now attend high school together.)

Here is the feature I wrote for the Baltimore Sun's Howard County edition.

Interfaith families search for balance

Traditions: The prominence of Christmas poses challenges for parents of different religions.

December 14, 2001|By Laura Shovan | Laura Shovan,SPECIAL TO THE SUN

When Susan Krew's family arrives to celebrate Christmas at her home, they will find lights in the windows, festive bows lining the staircase and a holiday centerpiece on the table. Krew, however, has warned her mother and siblings that the house is not "Christmassy." All of the decorations are blue, white and silver - for Hanukkah.

Krew converted to Judaism before marrying her husband, Jeffrey. Though many Jewish families limit Hanukkah decor to a lighted menorah in the window, Krew enjoys making her Dorsey's Search home look festive. "It satisfies me," she said. "It makes up for the [lack of a] Christmas tree."

The Costello family, also of Columbia, has decided to celebrate aspects of Christmas and Hanukkah. Stephanie Costello is Jewish, but agreed to raise her children Catholic when she married her husband, Sean.

They have three sons, Benjamin, 5, Kevin, 3, and Gregory, 18 months. The elder boys are aware of the religious aspects of Christmas, but they also know their mother is Jewish and help her light a menorah. Sean Costello, a lawyer, said, "I would never want to have my sons denied the Jewish part of their heritage."

Stephanie Costello is among the estimated 28 percent of married Jews in the United States whose spouses are not Jewish. Interfaith couples and those such as the Krews, whose extended families are of a different faith, struggle to balance the many religious and secular traditions of the winter holidays.

Hanukkah, the eight-day Festival of Lights, began Sunday evening and will conclude at dusk Monday. Though other religious holidays in the Jewish year involve a higher level of obligation, the festival has become a favorite among many American Jews because of its proximity to Christmas.

"Hanukkah had little to do with gifts" in the past, said Rabbi Sonya Starr of the Columbia Jewish Congregation.

Traditionally, families lighted candles, visited friends and told stories to mark the occasion. But for some Jews, Hanukkah has become an opportunity to participate in the secular aspects of Christmas, such as gift giving and decorating.

Holiday decorations are increasingly secular
like this Shovan family favorite: The Christmas Lobster.

Before this year, Susan and Jeffrey Krew's children, Alex, 9, and Amanda, 4, celebrated Christmas at their grandmother's house in Dundalk. Susan Krew said that her children know the holiday is part of her family's traditions. They understand "Grandmas celebrate Christmas," she said.

Although Krew's family accepts her faith, they do not always comply. Gifts to the children probably will be wrapped in Christmas paper.

The children "get hit with Christmas by my family," she said.

The message that Christmas is a national event can be overwhelming. Several local Jewish congregations sponsor programs about commercialism and the holidays. Starr recently led a group of Jewish and interfaith families in discussing "The December Dilemma." This national program is designed to help couples "work through all of the Christmas around us," she said.

Coping with Christmas fever can be especially difficult for interfaith couples with children. Carl Latkin and Amy Knowlton of Columbia chose not to celebrate the holidays early in their marriage. That changed when they started a family.

When kids came along, it became important to figure out some traditions for them," Knowlton said.

Latkin was raised Jewish, whereas Knowlton, a Christian, felt a lack of religious identity growing up.

The couple celebrate Christmas with Noah, 6, and Sophia, 3. But this year, they also are having a Hanukkah party for interfaith and Jewish friends they have met through the children's Jewish school, Bet Yeladim.

Studies have shown that interfaith families are most successful when parents are clear about their children's religion. Otherwise, the children may view choosing a faith as favoring one parent over another.

"It's better to tell them they are one religion," Starr said.

Children can help the parent of the other faith celebrate his or her holidays, just as one helps a friend celebrate a birthday.

Interfaith families recognize, however, that finding just the right blend of traditions takes time.

Last Christmas, we taught Nanny (my mother-in-law) how to play dreidel.

"We mutually decide what [traditions] seem most meaningful for both of us," Latkin said.

His wife agrees. Celebrating the winter holidays "is a work in progress."

Whatever you celebrate, happy holidays!