Poetry Friday: Book Phantoms (Kill Your Darlings 2)

"In writing, you must kill all your darlings." --William Faulkner

There's an excellent essay on the misreading
of Faulkner's famous quote (above) at Wendy Palmer's blog.

It's Poetry Friday, and I'm continuing my series of cut poems and offed characters from my book, THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY.

What does my fictional fifth grade class see
from their classroom windows? Bulldozers,
waiting like a pack of hungry predators to pounce on Emerson E.S.

But first, please visit my PF doppelganger, the other Laura S(alas), who is today's Poetry Friday host.

Last Friday, I dug word nerd Shelly up from the paper grave. His spelling bee sonnet, while fun, didn't reveal much about Shelly's character. He was one of the first voices to get the ax.

It was much, MUCH harder to cut Madison Singleton from the book. She'd been with me from the beginning, when THE LAST FIFTH GRADE was Spoon River Elementary, a collection of 30 poems in 30 fifth grade voices. Five years and many drafts later, I had a soft spot for horse-obsessed Maddie.

Spoon River Anthology was adapted into a play.
The book is a series of over 200 poems, each in the voice
of a unique character. Together, they tell the story of
their small town, circa 1900.

But this summer, I completed a huge overhaul of the manuscript. What it needed was less Spoon River and more narrative arc. Now, I have a new storyline about a fifth grade class who wants to save their school from demolition so badly, they're willing to take on the adults of the dreaded Board of Ed.

Much as I cared about Maddie, much as she had her own story arc, she didn't do anything to move the larger story forward. She wasn't deeply embedded in the group dynamics of my imaginary fifth grade class. Maddie was less than a minor character. She was an extra.

So, readers, I'd like to introduce you to Maddie before she disappears forever.

These four poems represent her four entries -- one for each quarter of the school year -- cut from THE LAST FIFTH GRADE. I hope Maddie's poems give a sense of how I develop each character with a unique arc.

What you won't see here are the poems in which other children in Miss Hill's fifth grade class mention or comment on Maddie. (E.g. some of the girls assume that the new pony Maddie is bragging about means her family is rich.)

http://www.assateagueisland.com/ponyswim/ponyswim.htm

Girl Island

(First Quarter poem)

By Maddie Singleton

We are the only table

with no boys.

Miss Hill calls us

Girl Island.

I imagine woods

deep and green,

salty air

from the ocean.

Like my favorite place

Chincoteague Island,

where the wild

ponies live.

I gave the girls

at my table

Chincoteague

Pony names.

Melodie is Pied Piper,

wild and free,

angry when someone

tries to tame her.

Gracie is Shadow,

quiet as

a ghost

at Mel’s side.

Ana’s name is Twilight.

She’s in between,

speaking English in class

and Spanish at recess.

Rennie Rawlins is Phantom,

tossing her mane,

letting everyone know

she thinks she’s boss.

Stormy Sloane

laughs on happy days,

rumbles inside when

she’s in a bad mood.

Misty, that’s me,

my favorite foal,

shy at first

but caring for my herd.

Rearranged!

(Second Quarter poem,

after Miss Hill assigns new seats)

By Maddie Singleton

A lightning storm hits.

Girl Island broken apart,

each pony alone,

stabled in a different place.

I whinny – missing my friends.

Last week I shared this seating chart for Miss Hill's classroom.
Many of you noticed "Girl Island" on the lower right.
Only two of these six characters have survived!

Fluffy White Poodles

(Third Quarter poem)

By Maddie Singleton

Shoshanna told me

the whole fifth grade thinks

horses have taken over my brain.

Like an entire herd

is stampeding around in my head,

squashing my brain cells.

I told her that’s because

I am working really hard

on my application to earn a pony

from the Feather Fund

and it’s the one and only way

I can afford to get my own pony, so duh,

of course I’m kind of obsessed.

“Still,” Rennie said.

And she dared me

not to talk or write

or even think about horses

for one whole day.

If I could do it, Rennie said,

she would help me with my essay.

The next day, every time I wanted to say

“Horse,” I said, “Poodles” instead.

As in, I can’t come over after school,

I have to feed the Poodles.

Every time I wanted to write about ponies

I described poodles jumping over fences

and doing tricks with hula hoops.

Every time a horse pranced into my mind,

I turned it into a fluffy white poodle

in a pink tutu, dancing on its hind legs

at the circus.

I have to admit, it was kind of fun.

My brain got a break, and the dare?

I won.

Circus Poodle from Juicy Dog Couture.

My Pony

(Fourth Quarter poem)

By Madison Singleton

Ponies of the sea,

ponies of the Bay,

horses of the ocean

trotting in the spray.

Chincoteague ponies,

Chincoteague mares

wild ponies running

in all of my prayers.

Our yard was a farm once.

Our yard has a stable.

Mom rents out the stalls

to put food on our table.

Cold mornings in winter,

cold ice on the roads,

I feed all the horses

and brush down their coats.

I wish they were mine.

I wish they were mine,

their manes and their fetlocks,

their saddles and lines.

I wrote about horses.

I wrote about home.

I asked the Feather Fund

for a horse of my own.

They chose my essay.

They picked me to win

a Chincoteague pony

with a whiskery chin.

A pony for a friend,

a pony I can ride,

to brush and feed and walk with,

a Poodle by my side :-).

The fourth quarter poem (a tribute to Joy Harjo's poem "She Had Some Horses") was Maddie's original poem. The last one I wrote, and the roughest of the bunch, is "Fluffy White Poodles." 

Even though she's been cut from the book, Maddie hangs around -- she's a book phantom, an almost-was character. Why did I kill this darling? As much as I want THE LAST FIFTH GRADE to represent a real fifth grade class (and around here, 30 students in a class is not unrealistic), Maddie didn't make enough of an impact to earn a place in the novel's cast. 

I'm down to a class of 21 voices. Will there be more cuts in their future?

Some of you may notice Maddie's reference to the Feather Fund. My friend, Maryland children's author Lois Szymanski, is involved in this amazing program. You can read more about it here.

The Feather Fund matches deserving young people with Chincoteague ponies.
I imagined that Maddie would earn her own horse through this program.

Today, I'm packing for the Indie Lit Festival at Frostburg State University. A bunch of intrepid staffers from Little Patuxent Review are hopping in my mommy van at 7 am tomorrow morning for the 2+ hour drive to western Maryland. If you happen to be there, stop by the LPR table to say hello!

(P.S. I am going to write a "book phantoms" novel, in which characters an author cut from a novel come back to haunt him/her.)