THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY

THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY
April 12, 2016
Showing posts with label elisabeth dahl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elisabeth dahl. Show all posts

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Elisabeth Dahl, Subplot Slasher (Kill Your Darlings 5) and a Giveaway

Happy Halloween, Writerly Friends!



Halloween is my favorite. I can't even refer to it as a "holiday" or "day" because it's just too epic. Dressing up! Candy! Running around the neighborhood in the dark, going from one friendly neighbor's door to another. Everything about Halloween is awesome.

Of course, there is the dark side to Halloween: ghosts (see yesterday's post for a true ghost story), a certain episode of Little House on the Prairie that still gives me nightmares, freaky slasher movies like Friday the 13th and The Shining.

There IS one time when it is acceptable to be a slasher.

If you are an author in the process of revising a novel, slash away. The pen IS your sword. Cut those red shirts to bits. Hack off that story-line. No knife or razor-sharp fingernail necessary. All you need is a pencil and your delete key.

I'm really excited to be sharing Halloween with Slasher Elisabeth Dahl. Elisabeth's middle grade novel GENIE WISHES came out earlier this year. She's guest blogging today, our first guest blogger of the KILL YOUR DARLINGS series!

Leave a comment on this post for a chance to win your own signed copy of GENIE WISHES. The contest will stay open until Sunday, 9 PM Eastern. (Contest for U.S. readers only.)
You can find Elisabeth Dahl at her website.
Elisabeth's going to tell us about cutting a full story-line from her novel in order to take it from draft to finished product.


The Final Form

In 2009, I wrote my first book-length manuscript. Called Genie Wishes: Girl Blogger, it followed a fifth-grade girl named Genie Haddock Kunkle through the second half of her fifth-grade year, beginning with her January election as class blogger.

On one hand, this was a school story, full of history lessons, cafeteria exchanges, and cringe-worthy “health” classes. But the manuscript also dealt with a family crisis. In the second half of the book, Genie’s father received word that Genie’s bipolar mother, who’d left the family several years earlier and moved to California, was off her meds and in trouble. Genie’s father flew west to help locate her and get her stabilized again.

That was the original story, at least. By the time the book was published, in April 2013, Genie Wishes had gained 16,000 words and about 20 line drawings. It had expanded to cover Genie’s whole fifth-grade year. But it had lost both a subtitle (Girl Blogger) and a subplot: the family crisis.

The editorial team at Abrams—and my eventual editor in particular—expressed some interest in the book but believed that the family crisis storyline wasn’t working. They felt that the strengths of the story lay elsewhere. Having worked as an editor myself, I knew that sometimes authors didn’t see a manuscript’s ideal final form as well as an editor could. Editing your own manuscript was like cutting your own hair: You could do it, but the results might be lopsided. But a good editor could guide you through the necessary edits, leaving behind a more perfect final form.


So I was willing to at least try it the editor’s way. But I was worried. I’d always thought of the novel as seriocomic, with the mother crisis responsible for much of the serio- aspect. I worried that removing the mother storyline might reduce the book to a frothy confection.

But in fact, once the mother storyline came out (in the final version, the mother has died many years earlier), attention could shift to the other, more subtly serious issues that the book raises. The question of what you do when a friend decides to dump you. The question of how you deal with teasing. The issue of growing up at a pace that feels right for you. These topics had been more important to me than the mother storyline all along.

I still think of the mother sometimes. I remember the line drawing of her eventual reunion with Genie once she was back on her meds and stabilized. Their smiles were big and lovely. They might have been right for a different book. But they didn’t belong in this one.



Elisabeth Dahl writes for adults and children from her home in Baltimore. Genie Wishes (Amulet Books/ABRAMS, April 2013) is her first book. Her writing for adults has appeared at NPR.org, TheRumpus.net, Little Patuxent Review, and elsewhere. On Twitter, she’s @ElisabethDahl, and on the Web, www.elisabethdahl.com. She’s also on Facebook.

Remember to leave a comment for a chance at an extra treat.

Happy haunting, from me and Tom B!

Run for your TARDIS!
I'm going as (classic) Dr. Who #4, Tom Baker...

but I'm doing it girl-style.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Poetry Pajama Friday: Kill Your Darlings 4

Hello, Writerly Friends.

It's Poetry Friday! Irene at Live Your Poem has invited us to sit on her virtual coach, hang out, and talk poetry today.

There's room for everyone at the Poetry Friday Party.
This couch at www.indulgy.com
Remember Jack Strong, from yesterday's book review, JACK STRONG TAKES A STAND? The kid was so over-scheduled, he staged a sit-in on his living room couch.

I know many educators and their students don't just suffer from over-scheduled "free time" after school. With requirements such as the Common Core, state mandated testing, and adequate yearly progress, the school day itself can feel like racing on a treadmill.

That's why everyone loves special school days so much.

One year, I was poet in residence at an elementary school where everyone, EVERYone could talk of nothing but the upcoming Holiday Meal. You know, that mouth-watering day in November when the cafeteria serves turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy. Just thinking about Holiday Meal was bliss-inducing. Why? It was barely better than a Swanson's TV dinner. But Holiday Meal only came once a year. It was a delicious break from the usual pizza, bagel and yogurt, or beef tacos.

My most beloved Swanson meal had
a tiny chocolate cake. Mmmm.
When my children were in elementary school, one of their favorite annual events was Pajama Day. This day of coziness usually  happened on Read Across America Day. There were books, there were slippers. Lovies and stuffed tigers and tiny satin pillows were packed into backpacks for school. Children spent much of the day snuggled up on bean bag chairs reading. For FUN.

My son loved it so much that one time, when I was room mom at my daughter's pre-school, I staged a toddler version Pajama Day. That was pretty freaking cute and awesome.

Writerly Friends, I have a Kill Your Darlings problem that is not awesome at all.

I wrote a Pajama Day poem for my MG novel-in-verse, THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY. It is cute as all get-out. And I think it have to cut it.

I wrote "Pajama Day" for the manuscript's second iteration. I was trying a different concept -- a poetry *yearbook*-- by adding occasional poems to the Spoon River inspired manuscript. These covered the first day of school, Halloween, the Talent Show, Pajama Day, Valentine's Day.  

Except THE LAST FIFTH GRADE eventually developed beyond the yearbook concept to an actual novel, complete with narrative arc. (Miss Hill's wacky fifth grade class must unite to stop the evil Board of Ed from demolishing their beloved school.)

Is "Pajama Day" still earning its place in the novel? Does it move the story forward or help develop the characters? Before I kill this darling, I'd love to get your feedback.
Product Details
Candy hearts pajama pants from Amazon.
Pajama Day
By Jason Chen and Katie McCain

Oh, how we long for
the most relaxing
school day of the year.
On Pajama Day
our backpacks don’t feel
like they have extra gravity
from two tons of books.
They are jammed
with pillows and stuffed animals.
We skid down the hall
like penguins slipping on ice
because giant fuzzy slippers
and floor wax
are a dangerous combo.
Sparkling snowflakes,
roller skating elephants
and candy hearts cover the legs
of our fuzzy fleece pants.
For indoor recess
we get out our pillows
and write poems on the floor
(everyone laughs
when Mark starts to snore).
We love Pajama Day
because we

Zzzzzz.

Read about Tarra, the roller skating elephant.
Pros:
  • It's about Pajama Day, one of the best days of the school year!
  • The poem provides a breather after a series of serious, winter is dull, and "I'm feeling down" poems.
  • The details are so yummy, I can feel my fuzzy fleece PJs calling to me.
  • The poem marks a subtle transition in the love-hate friendship between Jason and Katie.
  • Beta readers say the poem has elements of both character's voices.


Cons:
  • "Pajama Day" is the only poem in the novel written in two voices, so it doesn't quite fit.
  • The poem doesn't move the main narrative forward.
  • It may be a little TOO yummy.
  • Pretty sure it's a darling.


What do you think, fellow writers? Please leave a comment with your advice.

There are more posts in the Kill Your Darlings craft series here:


Next up in the Kill Your Darlings series, we have a guest blogger!

MG author Elisabeth Dahl (Genie Wishes) is stopping by next week. She cut a major storyline from her novel before it was published. Elisabeth will give us all the crafty dirt about killing her darling.

geniewishesdahl