Poetry Friday: A Frozen Parody for Poets

Hello, Writerly Friends.

Are you a fan of Frozen, or are you ready to Let It Go?

This is how one classroom teacher
coped (or didn't) with Frozen-crazy students. 

I just received the second round of editorial notes for my middle grade novel in verse. Thanks to all of you who have been following the looooong journey that THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY has taken to publication. I promise ... this is connected to the movie Frozen.

But first...

Happy Host Day
to talented super-poet
Irene Latham!
All of the Poetry Friday links
are up Irene's blog,
Live Your Poem.

With suggestions from my editor, I wrote a lot of new material for my novel this fall. I tend to overwrite when I'm drafting. Testing out new poems helps me feel my way through the characters and plot. Then I put the draft aside for awhile and see which poems have staying power. Some will need revision. Others will be cut.

Before I head back into the revision cave -- my deadline's not In Summer, after all -- I'd like to share one of the new poems for Poetry Friday. This parody of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" won't make it into the published novel, but I think your writing students will like it. Especially when they're feeling frustrated.

I Don’t Want to Write a Sonnet

I don’t want to write a sonnet.

Sometimes I’ve got nothing to say.

I can never think of words that rhyme.

It takes too much time

writing every day.

Counting syllables is awkward,

too much like math,

It makes me want to cry.

I don’t want to write a sonnet.

Does it have to be a sonnet?

Tell me why.

I don’t want to write a sonnet,

a limerick, or triolet.

A writing break sounds really great.

Why don’t we pick a date?

How about today?

It gets a little tiring

sticking to rhyme schemes

when my thoughts would rather fly.

You say I have it in me

and it’s only fourteen lines.

You say this is a sloppy draft

and I’ll have time to craft

when we all revise.

We only have ten minutes

of writing time.

What am I going to do?

I don’t want to write a sonnet.

Here is a great cover of the original song from Frozen.

Why cut this piece? Not because I have a Frozen Heart. I think I wrote it for myself, rather than for one of my characters. The speaker feels a little too generic for THE LAST FIFTH GRADE, which is told in the 18 voices of one fifth grade class. I had a great time writing this parody, though. I was totally venting some revision frustration.

Speaking of writing, February is coming up. That means the annual Author Amok Poetry Project is almost here. Thanks so much for all of you who suggested sounds we can use for writing prompts. When I need a break from novel revisions, I'm going to get our list of 28 sounds together. For the First Time in Forever, I can't wait to start writing!

And remember, it doesn't have to be a sonnet.

The Best News Ever

I'm just going to be honest here, friends. I don't know how to start this post. 

Even the title. I can't get it right. Nothing fits, because nothing can contain my cartwheeling-on-cloud-nine euphoria and itchy excitement.

Finally. Finally! I can share the best news ever.

The children's novel in verse I've been working on for six years? It's going to be a book.

Take a deep breath with me, friends and cheerleaders. Here is the official announcement from the Publishers Weekly Children's Bookshelf.

Poet and educator Laura Shovan's debut middle-grade novel in verse, THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY, in which a class of fifth graders learns that their school will be torn down and replaced by a supermarket, and then takes their teacher's 1960's political teachings to heart as they fight to save it, to Wendy Lamb at Random House Children's, at auction, in a two book deal, by Stephen Barbara at Foundry Literary + Media (NA).

Any book that takes six years to write and sell must have a lengthy back story. I'll share mine another time. For today, I'd like to thank my agent, the amazing Stephen Barbara. (Did you see his name on this list of top 100 literary agents?) And how thrilled am I to be working with legendary children's editor Wendy Lamb? Most people dread editorial notes. I *can't wait*!

Here's a brief version of my book's back story:

In July of 2008, Stephen, children's author Lois Szymanski, editor Aimee Friedman, and I were at a local SCBWI conference. Over lunch, the four of us talked about novels in verse. Stephen and I were both fans of the classic American verse novel, Spoon River Anthology, by Edgar Lee Masters.

Read the full novel online at Bartleby.

That night -- that very night -- I sat in a college dorm room and sketched out my plan for a Spoon River-type novel set in a fifth grade classroom. 

Six years of revisions, emails with Stephen, critiques with experts and friends, visiting classrooms, more revisions, pitch contests, queries and rejections, and here we are.

If you'd like to read more about THE LAST FIFTH GRADE, this post begins a series about recent revisions to the novel.

Thanks to all of you for being the best cheerleaders around. I couldn't have made it through this marathon without shoulders to cry on and friends to drink champagne with.

Although THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY has evolved into a more narrative book than Spoon River, I'm indebted to Edgar Lee Masters wonderful series of intertwined persona poems.

Here is one of my favorite Spoon River poems.

Edgar Lee Masters (1868–1950).  Spoon River Anthology.  1916. 

40. Theodore the Poet 

AS a boy, Theodore, you sat for long hours
On the shore of the turbid Spoon
With deep-set eye staring at the door of the crawfish’s burrow,
Waiting for him to appear, pushing ahead,
First his waving antennæ, like straws of hay,	5
And soon his body, colored like soap-stone,
Gemmed with eyes of jet.
And you wondered in a trance of thought
What he knew, what he desired, and why he lived at all.
But later your vision watched for men and women	10
Hiding in burrows of fate amid great cities,
Looking for the souls of them to come out,
So that you could see
How they lived, and for what,
And why they kept crawling so busily	15
Along the sandy way where water fails
As the summer wanes.

Poetry Pajama Friday: Kill Your Darlings 4

Hello, Writerly Friends.

It's Poetry Friday! Irene at Live Your Poem has invited us to sit on her virtual coach, hang out, and talk poetry today.

There's room for everyone at the Poetry Friday Party.
This couch at www.indulgy.com

Remember Jack Strong, from yesterday's book review, JACK STRONG TAKES A STAND? The kid was so over-scheduled, he staged a sit-in on his living room couch.

I know many educators and their students don't just suffer from over-scheduled "free time" after school. With requirements such as the Common Core, state mandated testing, and adequate yearly progress, the school day itself can feel like racing on a treadmill.

That's why everyone loves special school days so much.

One year, I was poet in residence at an elementary school where everyone, EVERYone could talk of nothing but the upcoming Holiday Meal. You know, that mouth-watering day in November when the cafeteria serves turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy. Just thinking about Holiday Meal was bliss-inducing. Why? It was barely better than a Swanson's TV dinner. But Holiday Meal only came once a year. It was a delicious break from the usual pizza, bagel and yogurt, or beef tacos.

My most beloved Swanson meal had
a tiny chocolate cake. Mmmm.

When my children were in elementary school, one of their favorite annual events was Pajama Day. This day of coziness usually  happened on Read Across America Day. There were books, there were slippers. Lovies and stuffed tigers and tiny satin pillows were packed into backpacks for school. Children spent much of the day snuggled up on bean bag chairs reading. For FUN.

My son loved it so much that one time, when I was room mom at my daughter's pre-school, I staged a toddler version Pajama Day. That was pretty freaking cute and awesome.

Writerly Friends, I have a Kill Your Darlings problem that is not awesome at all.

I wrote a Pajama Day poem for my MG novel-in-verse, THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY. It is cute as all get-out. And I think it have to cut it.

I wrote "Pajama Day" for the manuscript's second iteration. I was trying a different concept -- a poetry *yearbook*-- by adding occasional poems to the Spoon River inspired manuscript. These covered the first day of school, Halloween, the Talent Show, Pajama Day, Valentine's Day.  

Except THE LAST FIFTH GRADE eventually developed beyond the yearbook concept to an actual novel, complete with narrative arc. (Miss Hill's wacky fifth grade class must unite to stop the evil Board of Ed from demolishing their beloved school.)

Is "Pajama Day" still earning its place in the novel? Does it move the story forward or help develop the characters? Before I kill this darling, I'd love to get your feedback.

Candy hearts pajama pants from Amazon.

Pajama Day

By Jason Chen and Katie McCain

Oh, how we long for

the most relaxing

school day of the year.

On Pajama Day

our backpacks don’t feel

like they have extra gravity

from two tons of books.

They are jammed

with pillows and stuffed animals.

We skid down the hall

like penguins slipping on ice

because giant fuzzy slippers

and floor wax

are a dangerous combo.

Sparkling snowflakes,

roller skating elephants

and candy hearts cover the legs

of our fuzzy fleece pants.

For indoor recess

we get out our pillows

and write poems on the floor

(everyone laughs

when Mark starts to snore).

We love Pajama Day

because we

Zzzzzz.

Read about Tarra, the roller skating elephant.

Pros:

• It's about Pajama Day, one of the best days of the school year!
• The poem provides a breather after a series of serious, winter is dull, and "I'm feeling down" poems.
• The details are so yummy, I can feel my fuzzy fleece PJs calling to me.
• The poem marks a subtle transition in the love-hate friendship between Jason and Katie.
• Beta readers say the poem has elements of both character's voices.

Cons:

• "Pajama Day" is the only poem in the novel written in two voices, so it doesn't quite fit.
• The poem doesn't move the main narrative forward.
• It may be a little TOO yummy.
• Pretty sure it's a darling.

What do you think, fellow writers? Please leave a comment with your advice.

There are more posts in the Kill Your Darlings craft series here:

• Word Nerd (Kill Your Darlings 1), in which spelling bee champ Shelly gets the ax.
• Book Phantoms (Kill Your Darlings 2), in which horse-obsessed Maddie gallops off into the distance
• Joe Gets Cut from the Team (Kill Your Darlings 3), self-explanatory

Next up in the Kill Your Darlings series, we have a guest blogger!

MG author Elisabeth Dahl (Genie Wishes) is stopping by next week. She cut a major storyline from her novel before it was published. Elisabeth will give us all the crafty dirt about killing her darling.

Joe Gets Cut from the Team (Kill Your Darlings 3)

Writerly Friends, thank you for all your kind words about poor Madison Singleton. My horse-obsessed fifth grader is, after all, a minor character.

From http://horsetrainingguidance.com/

Much as we all love her (see last week's post), Maddie will remain a book phantom, like word nerd Sheldon before her.

I have only heard and read about what it feels like to be head over heels for horses when you're a kid, so I couldn't give Maddie fair shakes as anything more than a minor character, an ear, a BFF. Maddie will live on only in old drafts of my middle grade novel-in-verse, and in our memories. 

This week's Poetry Friday host is
Kathy at Merely Day by Day.

I hate to do it to you again, Tender Hearts, but this week's Poetry Friday post is third in my "Kill Your Darlings" series. Each post in the series features a poem or characters cut from my book.

It is now time to say goodbye to another of my favorite characters from THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY.

Most names in the book were carefully selected.

Joe is a star athlete and all around good guy. Even when he breaks his leg, he still coaches his fifth grade classmates in kickball. After all, everyone wants to beat the teachers in the traditional fifth grade vs. staff kickball game. Joe even has a secret, but what he doesn't have is any interest in school politics.

My ensemble of characters may be the only team that Joe's ever been cut from.

If you read the working blurb for  my book -- kind of like an expanded elevator pitch -- you'll see why I permanently benched Joe:

Bulldozers crouch outside Emerson Elementary, as if they long to eat the school in one gulp. It's up to fifth grade history buff George Furst and his friends to save the not-quite historic building from demolition. George has no clue how to organize a fifth grade full of crush-obsessed, experiment-exploding hamster haters into a protest, but unless he unites their class against the powerful Board of Education, George and his friends will be THE LAST FIFTH GRADE OF EMERSON ELEMENTARY.

With the click of a delete button, I erased Joe and the entire kickball game thread from my working draft.

I'm really sad about this one. I felt as if Joe's voice fit his poems well, not just in topic but also in form. Joe was the best concrete poem writer in Miss Hill's (imaginary) fifth grade class. What he didn't fit was the narrative arc of the story.

Let's meet Joe before he officially becomes a book phantom. Here are his four poems. As a minor character in the novel, Joe wrote one poem for each quarter of the school year (that's all Miss Hill required).

Lucky Hat
First Quarter Poem

The Poem I Found on My Cast

Second Quarter Poem

By Joe O’Day

Break a leg, man! Ha ha, Jay

Mary R♥se: Glad you’re okay.

Come back to kickball L from Katie

Suck it up! We need you, Sydney

Jason took my line, Dude (Ben)

Rajesh Rao: Feel better, friend!

This is Newton Mathews, Hi.

Thanks for letting me sign. Ty

Mark: Slow Joe? The end is near!

Super Ash was here

(This poem works a lot better when you are familiar with the cast (!) of characters in Miss Hill's class. Every fifth grader who signed Joe's cast made it into the final version of my novel.)

Like a Cheetah

Third Quarter Poem

By Joe O’Day

When I run, I’m like a cheetah,

a blur of muscles flying past.

Nothing can catch me, not even your eye.

Blink once – I’m gone.

When I kick, I’m a mule.

I’m stubborn and that ball WILL

go over the fence.

I can make it fly.

When I catch, I’m like a Rottweiler.

I jump, trap the ball, and hang on.

Don’t try to take nothing away from me.

I’m dangerous.

But when I’m in class, I’m like a horse

with saddle and reins.

I’ll go where you want. Do what you say.

And as soon as you let me loose

blink once – I’m gone.

From National Geographic.

(This poem is based on one of the poetry prompts I often use with elementary schoolers. You can read the lesson "Animals Are like Feelings" at this post.)

I'm sneaking in one kickball poem -- also cut -- about Joe, but written by a Keeper Character. I couldn't resist sharing this poem, because I love Jason's sense of humor.

Shoe Fly Pie

By Jason Chen

There once was a kicker named Joe

who could kick a home run in the snow.

You say you want proof?

Look! His shoe’s on the roof,

where it startled a really big crow.

(P. S. Too bad, this poem has no pie in it.)

Just as in Spoon River Anthology, the poems in my novel have a way of talking to one another. Characters reveal things about themselves, but also about their classmates. Events are described from more than one point of view.

Blue Ribbon Poem

Fourth Quarter Poem

The Field Day plot line was cut, along with the kid vs. teacher kickball game.
THE LAST FIFTH GRADE is more focused, concentrating on a class
that stands up to the Board of Education, and what consequences
that has for them as individuals and as a group.

Let's all tip our baseball caps as we say goodbye to Joe.

Writerly Friends, do you have any stories of characters loved and lost? Please share in your comments. Or, better yet, sign up to guest post about the poem, character, or plot you cut. I'm looking for a few good bloggers to feature in the Kill Your Darlings series.

Last, I'm glad so many of you thought that THE BOOK PHANTOMS would make a great novel. That's my next writing project, in the planning stages now! I'm so excited about this idea. Look for a YA speculative fiction novel about a character who won't let herself be deleted without a fight. Her teenage would-be author won't know what hit him (but it might be a  meat cleaver. Long story.) Let's just hope this book doesn't take me another five years.